“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” Marcel Proust
Pause and retreat.
Sit still.
Get your notebook.
Take time for quiet.
This post was written and graciously shared by my colleague, Jennifer Schelter
Recently a student emailed me and wrote, “…I feel horribly cranky, negative and overwhelmed. This time of year makes me feel untethered. I want to create New Year’s intentions that work and that I can trust. No pie in the sky. Can you help me focus my intentions and goals!”
Here’s my response (and what I practice).
Resolutions don’t work because creating an intention or goal from what’s not wanted, “I don’t want to be overweight” states the negative and the negative begets the negative and more fear or resistance. When we state the positive with intent like “I’m allowing myself to love and respect my body with ease” we have a greater chance of committing, and patiently learning new behaviors or skills.
In my experience, I’ve found it helpful to study the passing year with an eye for all affirmative behaviors, moments, turning points, relationships, activities, and work that created positivity, happiness and forward momentum.
By reviewing 2019 week by week, month by month, and writing honest reflections, studies show we have 90% more chance of following our own authentic advice and wisdom. When we trust ourselves we grow.
The process takes around two hours. It’s incredibly thorough. Don’t overthink it. Have fun. Be open to what you find. Get comfy with a cup of coffee or tea. Be prepared with at least 10 clean pages in a journal or notebook.
The process is simple and enlightening:
1. Title the first page: 2019. Draw a line down the middle of the page. Write Positive – Highlights on one side and Negative – Lowlights on the other.
2. Review your 2019 calendar. Scroll through each week and month. Write the Positive – Highlights – people, places, work, or activities and the Negative – Lowlights. Take stock of each week throughout the year. Be open to the energy as you assess providing an instant – Aha! Yes! No!
3. On a new page, title it: “Face It, Let go or Do Not Do”. This is a tip I learned from the author, Tim Ferris. Read over the negative-lowlights. What no longer serves you? What must end, or be faced? Write a list of “Face It, Let It Go or Do Not Do”. This is your reminder to yourself: Do not do or think things that limit or hurt you. Change your narrative or picture.
4. Now review your positive – highlights list. Note: who, what and where is best for consistent happiness, joy, and fulfillment.
5. On a new page, title it: “A MUST For Happiness”. Make a list of all the MUSTS. List all the people, places and actions that are a MUST! Schedule potential musts – dates/times – on the 2020 calendar as soon as possible.
5. On a new page, title it: “The Top 10 Things I’m Fulfilled By Accomplishing in 2019”. List them and if in a groove, keep going until the energy of accomplishment and celebration is complete. Give full attention to all authentic growth and development no matter what size or shape.
6. On a new page, write and complete these two sentences:
In 2020, I allow myself to be:_________________________. (Example: I allow myself in 2020 to be courageous, and loving towards myself and others.)
I’m letting go of :__________________________.
(Example: I’m letting of self-doubt.)
7. Now take closer inventory. Write a list: Friendships, family, finances, career, love, health, spirituality, beauty, sex, philanthropy, quality of life, alignment with Self/body/mind – consider areas that matter to you.
Rate them between a 1-10; 1 being the least, 10 being the best experience.
Write about why; uninhibited, honest, without judgment, and take responsibility. With this data and information, don’t should your self or beat yourself up. Just note what is.
How would you like it to be? Why?
What are you inspired to learn this year?
If you don’t make changes, what are the predictable outcomes to take responsibility for?
8. Imagine life a year from now. Pause. Close the eyes. See a new picture. Really try. Consider repeating these questions to your self out loud:
What inspires and touches me to become?
What am I allowing in my relationship to myself and others?
Who do I allow myself to be around?
How will I allow myself to spend time?
What does my perfect day look like?
What will I allow my conversations to be about?
9. Choose 3 specific areas you’re moved to focus on and have the positive results you desire. What do you choose to focus on and accomplish? Studies show the fewer things we choose the better.
What are the positive, loving, potential outcomes?
What do you need to allow on a regular basis to experience your goals?
What fear or resistance must you let go of or face?
10. On a new page, title it: 3 Games to Play.
Makeup titles for the 3 games you’ll play this year, like:
“The year I allow myself to love my body.”
“The year I allow my career to expand.”
“The year I allow love to surround me.”
Relating to 2020 as a game gives permission to the beginner and kid inside to play, and explore a fun, happy ending. The inner child loves to keep a game going because it’s entertaining fun, educational and authentically fulfilling. The game and story may change but continuing to be positive, and curious as the year unfolds allows us to stay positive and affirming.
Write: My intention this year is to allow__________________, ______________, and _____________. Yes!
As my friend Lu Ann Cahn says, “I dare you.”
Here’s to 2020 being perfect vision, and your best abundant year yet.