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26 april 2022 it’s been more than a minute but where we last left off, is where you’ll find me now. still. in the middle. of a move. my friends reach out because they know me, “so, how’s it going?” there’s much i could make light of: seven flat-screen TVs in the living room; a basketball hoop at the end of the drive; so many boxes of Bruce; what’s come only to be known as #sneakergate the list goes on and on… and yet, while the experience is far from calming, one in which i could have become entirely unmoored, i have surprised myself and remained completely calm calm in the midline of myself it’s taken me a lifetime to get here, but this is what i know if i approach this experience like a practice and trust that, just as in asana, when i am teased in and out of poses, pulled in multiple directions, sometimes losing my balance entirely—if i don’t get ahead of myself, if i let go of the outcome, and the irrational belief there can only be one perfect way to one perfect pose, i discover there is always a fluency to be found in the process there is always a healing in the return, to find my way home in the shape of savasana—one breath at a time and really, who am i to think i know how this process was supposed to look? who am i to believe i know better? who is anyone? because we all enter relationships with the clutter and chaos of our past we all come with baggage or at least i do… the difference is mine is mostly ephemera, pages compressed and contained, so they appear more manageable upon the surface as if they are taking up less space until the sheets begin to spill and scatter… written words that carry an emotional weight all their own and so, as john organizes the garage, i sit with my papers strewn all about: over 500 looseleaf sheets of yoga sequences; outlines of courses taught & itineraries of retreats taken all the many stories of my life in our way, john and i are both learning to invite the unknown closer, to listen to what we know to be true, to release in order to receive to unpack our baggage together last night (and for the first time at this address) we ordered pizza for dinner—sausage, pepperoni, green peppers, extra cheese. we served it on my blue and white plates and remarked on how good it tasted because our house is indeed a very, very, very fine house xo sew … . .. thank you for reading and for all you create each day. if you wish to practice together, here are some ways below and a question ~ scroll to the bottom because i need your input!
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